It was raining heavily, there was no shelter, she was all drenched.
Her body shivered, the umbrella leaked, she continued walking.
Took the lift, to highest floor, contemplating committing suicide.
She told people she would rather die, they laughed and said she won’t.
Saying she has a life admired, many would gladly be her place.
None knows the loneliness, the sadness, the hurt, the heartbreak, the hopelessness…
She admired many people, especially single parents, including prostitutes.
They have others before them, someone to guide them, someone as an example.
She has none, she has no one before her, no one to look up to.
People on the street walk up to her, people shake her hands thinking it’ll bring good luck.
In her eyes, she thinks her life is misfortune, she wants to turn back time, knowing she can’t.
Her life wasn’t decided by her, she just wanna be like others, somehow it didn’t.
She heard the stories single parents told her, she admired how they were strong when alone.
She heard the stories prostitutes told her, she admired how they didn’t give up life.
People around her were twice, thrice, even four times her age, she can’t imagine herself living that long.
A life that wealth can’t buy, poor won’t experience, she dare not imagine her future.
It’s not the first time she wanted to commit suicide.
Every time things happened, she saw people getting depressed, she felt responsible for them.
She thinks that if she dies, everything will be alright.
She looked down the flat, there’s nowhere she can go, no one to talk to.
No one understands what she’s going through, no one knows the responsibilities she’s carrying.
Maybe it’s her fault, she’s naïve, she’s trusting, she’s encouraging.
Gotta burst her bubble, let her wake up, face the harsh truth.
She should know she’s all alone, she deserves the sadness, and maybe to die.
She should stop being naïve, she should be hurt, then she’ll learn society is cruel.
She should stop being trusting, she should experience heartbreak, then she’ll learn all can be bought.
She should stop being encouraging, she should sense hopelessness, then she’ll learn that nothing can be certain.
She wanted to go overseas, thinking she can start a new life, the stupid her wanna stay.
She is ultimately a girl, she doesn’t have a pair, she dare not go…
She still can’t believe how she lost everything overnight, there was no warning, no sign, no one said anything.
She doesn’t know what happened, because no one tell her and no one respond to her.
She just wanna die, she doesn’t know what to do or where to go.
She was about to jump, someone passed by and shouted her name.
The person said, I know you, I can help.
She was crying, rain kept pouring, cold and shivering.
Not knowing how to trust, not believing in words anymore, that person took out contract.
A contract that promised to secure her stuff, for three months.
Another contract that promised to secure her shelter, for six months.
They drove her to the nearest train station, they said she’s an inspiration, later texted that she inspired more than the thousands who were recorded.
She doesn’t know if it’s true, she’s still crying, she feels helpless.
She doesn’t want her stuff anymore, probably give them away, may others treasure them well.
She doesn’t plan to live long, probably just enough for arrangements, ease the stuff carried on her shoulders.
She saw the people who left are now leading a good life.
She saw the people who left can now seek love and relationship.
She saw the people who left being better than those who stayed.
She was looking at plane tickets, about to buy and give up.
Three guys texted her, the three guys who made it to BBC, CNN, Bloomberg, time, guardian etc. within the past 24 hours.
They told her not to give up because they didn’t give up, yeah right, you’re all guys while she’s the only girl.
Only girl in Asia.